Facing me

I don't know how to start so I'll just say it simply.I don't think I have friends anymore.
I;m not going to feel sorry for me or complain(too much), so it's not that kind of post.
But if I think better, probably this is the reason why I don't have friends. I never complain to people that are close to me, I never cry in front of them, I never tell them much of my problems. I don't like talking about myself, although this is a paradox, because in this blog contains my feelings...
But here I don't have to explain myself and no one comforts me.I don't like being comforted. I don't like to console people. I suck at this .I don't know what to say to them and it doesn't help them anyway. It just gives them a placebo feeling of....hope, comfort? It doesn't lasts anyway.
I guess I am the "cold hearted" type? Maybe.
I hate responsibilities, I hate it when people have expectations from me. I don't think I can fulfill them. This means I am a coward.I know that and I can live with that.
I am also a big liar.Sometimes I put  the "brave face" . Yeah, the me that is  infallible and hard to impress. Bullshit. In fact I am weak and dependable. I am insecure, I have low self- esteem.
Sometimes I can help but ask myself  if someone would truly like me if they knew my true self. (this sounds like self- pity, really now!!)
If I don't like myself I don't see how others would.
That's all. Goodnight!